Written By: Vivek Sharma

If you have gone through the first part, you would have noticed that we have devoted that write-up entirely to your appearance, facial expressions, and body language. In this part, we will talk about improving your conversational skills, be an active listener, and respond instantly.

Polish your Conversational Skills:

People think that a good conversationalist boasts knowledge on a wide variety of subjects. This is simply not correct. It has nothing to do with subjects’ knowledge, but yes at least keep an update of everything. Before you waste your valuable time studying the latest trends in reality television, remember that a conversation has two prime roles: a speaker and a listener. Online business magazines always emphasize that you don’t have to be a Renaissance man to be a great conversationalist.

Being a good conversationalist, you have to be an active listener as well. While talking to anyone try to maintain eye contact and constant nods. It is wise to give your speaker signs that they are reaching you and you are interested. This infuses new confidence in them and they’ll share their knowledge with you. In the same tone, we would also like to tell you that, nodding your head and maintaining eye contact are not enough on their own.

To show you are listening actively, acknowledge that you understand what the person is trying to communicate and this can be achieved through the simple repetition of the point they were making or by rephrasing it. Try to be more responsive to the speaker. If speaker is talking about the topic of your interest, make sure you ask exploratory questions. Exploratory questions don’t yield a yes or no response instead they are open-ended. Try to ask your question interestingly, such as “Can you describe what it’s like?", “Tell me how you feel about..." or "What's your opinion on…?”

All these questions can’t be answered with a monosyllabic response and thus, they yield further insight into a person, a topic or provide the necessary material to allow a natural progression to a new topic. While augmenting your social skills, recognize and adapt to social norms. Don’t forget that a social setting is a small society with its own norms, values and standards. For instance, a nightclub’s social setting values are totally different than a public book reading.

Take a detailed understanding about the social setting's norms and how you can conform to them. It is vital to understand your audience if you value being successful in social situations. Not understanding your audience will just end up alienating yourself and others. Business week magazines always advocate that dress for the occasion. Going to a country club in causal jeans and a T-shirt would be inappropriate and start you off on the wrong foot.

We reiterate your appearance speaks a lot about you, thus, dress yourself in attire that is appropriate to the situation. For ensuring this, you can call other people to know what they will be wearing.

Maximum tips mentioned above can polish your social skills and make you a social butterfly. Don’t forget to be an active listener in any conversation and keep a check on your body language, facial expressions, and general behavior. Try to practice hard in environments where you are already comfortable. There is no harm in knowing the ways to handle the process of nonverbal communication ahead of social situations rather than using social situations as an experiment.

After all, the goal is to make you feel more confident in social situations and for achieving that confidence requires practice. Constant practice will improve your nonverbal skills and this will prepare you for any social setting. Once you are prepared and confident; you’re more likely to be yourself.

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• Posted: 01 Oct 2008
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